It was a pleasure looking at the work of some of the students. I am very impressed with the effort that the students made in their study of medicine/biography. I enjoyed reading J’leigh’s and Leonor’s writing. Well done Wolves.
It is such a well organised biography. I gained a good understanding of Louis Pasteur’s life, achievements and hardships by reading your writing. I feel sorry because Louis Pasteur lost 3 children.
Well done, excellent writing son . Go on !
I really enjoyed your biography. I liked your questioning as an introduction, your various use of dynamic adjectives and different types of sentences. I wish I could read the rest of the biography. Fantastic! Well done, son !
I think everyone has done really well because they practiced there sentence types to develop there learning for the hot big write to compare with the cold big write. When we wrote our cold big write, we didn’t really know the sentence types and the key features in a biography. Mr French, I think your plan is perfect for us to improve in the quality of our writing.
I agree with Youssef because it helped us a lot thank you Mr French you helped us, we got better well done everyone. One more big thank’s to Mr French !
Maxx your writing was really good, I liked your opening sentence. I really liked your handwriting its super neat!! 🙂
To improve you could work a bit on your spellings.
I liked the second paragraph when you went even further with the detail!! Well done your writing has definitely improved 😀 😀
Michaela your writing was amazing, I found it so interesting to read I was so upset that it ended! (But it had to end sometime). I really really liked your rhetorical question at the beginning that grabbed me in…
You handwriting is so neat as well (brilliant). 😀 😀
Nathan, I really like your handwriting it was superb!! I liked the way at the end of your first paragraph it said ‘safer place’. The reason for that is because when you described most things in the first paragraph you said what Louis Pasteur did that made this a safer place.
I liked the way you put two questions at the beginning of your biography!!
I really liked when you said’ if yes, you are alive because of Ms Montague! Sorry if I spelt her second name wrong.
Eddy I loved your question at the beginning!!!!!!! ‘did you know lady Mary Montague had an impact on thousands of lives?’
I was sooooooooooo hooked in after that question!! Well done Ed! 😀
Very good work done in the big write this week. I like the way that Oliver has set out the clear facts that have covered the life of Louis Pasteur. Oliver’s mum
Leonor….. first your handwriting was clear to read!! Well done! 😀
I liked the way you put in the sentence type : if,if,if,then that was really good !
Nice work Jonan. I really like the way you introduced your Robert Koch biography. Instead of writing when he was born straight away,you started with a question. It really worked.
Nathan I was really hooked in by your rhetorical questions in your writing.Also your facts were very clear on what happened in Louis Pasteur lifetime which is helpful because it really gets the message across to reader on who Louis Pasteur really is and how he changed the world forever.
Abdul your writing is amazing, I understand how at the end of the biography you wrote, “If he wasn’t exposed to science, if he didn’t have children that died, if he didn’t discover pasteurisation, then I,wouldn’t be writing this write now!” You thought outside the box with the ‘then.’ Really good! 🙂
I really enjoyed yours Tia, I think you got a bit confused, you see Mary’s father didn’t approve of her husband up until he got promoted to be ambassador. Don’t get me wrong, I like your biography and it was was amusing I only noticed small mistakes while I was reading, but it was overall enjoyable.
Nathan, your handwriting was super but I’m not sure Louis Pasteur discovered anthrax. I know Robert Koch worked on anthrax and discovered “endospores” which spread it but I don’t think Louis Pasteur discovered anthrax. Maybe he discovered it could spread between cows.
Wow Abdul,your writing is amazing. I really like the detail you put into your paragraphs. I didn’t know that Louis Pasteur was into singing and art. Thanks
Well done Emeka.Your rhetorical question at the start really hooks the reader because you are relating to them by having a glass of milk.You should be very proud of your work Emeka.
Yedidja, I like how you spaced out your writing into several paragraphs so that it is easier for reader to find what they’re looking for. The legacy was good because of the double writing techniques. If,if,if,then and De:de. The drawing is good too. 🙂
Well done Edward.Your rhetorical question at the start of your writing really made an impact on me because I paused for a second and thought wow she probably saved my life many millions of people’s lives.This is a very effective strategy because you make the reader think and also make them read on.You should very proud of yourself Edward.
Drawing the reader with a question is a good idea, Sophia. You go into a lot of detail after each paragraph, it makes me want to read more. Very nice! 🙂
I enjoyed reading your work, it was fun. I couldn’t help but notice your first sentence, it really drew me in, but I couldn’t get passed the fact that after “cereal” you forgot to put put a ?(question) mark
Wow Salma! I really liked how you added in the new sentence types you have recently been learning!You really put an image in the readers head!Keep up the good work! The only thing you could have done better was if you read back on your work! Well done! 🙂
Brilliant work year 6 I could see the improvement since your cold big write.If Mr French never taught us any sentence types, if Mr French never gave us time to practice, if Mr French never showed how to use them, then would our writing be so good?
Your biography was amazing Ka-lo! But I noticed that your rhetorical question didn’t make sense. Next time read through your work to make sure it’s clear.
I liked your use of a rhetorical question Oliver it really hooked the reader in! But the L’s you put in looked like a 2 so make your handwriting clearer.
I agree Younnes. Oliver you’re a excellent writer,better than me,but you seriously got to stop making your L look like a 2. I know you think it looks neat but it looks like 2ouis Pasteur.
Good use of the more,the more. To make your biography better include the if,if,if,then sentence for your legacy paragraph for example if Louis didn’t discover Pasteurisation,if he wasn’t exposed to science,if he wasn’t interested in medical pioneers,then you will still have to boil your milk today.
I personally think that Elsie or Abdul should be the writer of the week! Keep up the good work! I chose Elsie because of the neat presentation and her writing put an image in the readers head! I chose Abdul because I can clearly tell that he is working hard and appreciating the constructive criticism that has been given! The only thing that I can complain about too both of you is too read over your work! Other than that ! Well done once again! 🙂 😀 🙂 D 🙂 😀 🙂 😀 🙂
Well done everyone – these biographies are really interesting and well written with plenty of detail. I particularly liked Oliver’s biography about Louis Pasteur. I was very proud of Katie’s biography of Lady Montague as it taught me about someone I had never been aware of before.
Congratulations on such super work!
Elsie your handwriting is very neat! I also liked how you put the rhetorical qustion at the begging it really put me in! I also like how you put the details in clear,different paragraphs.
Jay I really liked the part at the beginning when you said ‘ did you know if it wasn’t for Louis pastuer you would not be able to put milk straight into your cearl.’ Just a reminder that you forgot to put a question mark after cearl! Apart from that your handwriting was fabulous I found that biography so good!!!
Very good Michaela but you tend to add in and leave out some extra words.Also you add in punctuation that you do not need.Next time I suggest you read back carefully.
Wonderful writing Nathan, your writing is amazing you could have drew me in even more if you started with a rhetorical question. Instead of that well done Nathan.
Congratulation once again! I also heard that you are doing tests next week and this week,so revise well, keep trying and most importantly DON’T GIVE UP!!
Good use of a rhetorical question Emeka make sure that you correct sentences that doesn’t make sense.Louis went to the university of Strasbourg and chemistry professor.Correct it to and became a chemistry professor.
Rico I like your paragraphs, They are very detailed and you told me a lot about the subheading. Now it feels like I know Louis Pasteur.Well done Reekzs.
Jack your writing is wonderful,but in your first paragraph you shouldn’t put at the end “his family was very poor”you should have done it in the early life paragraph not the first.Well done
Tia,your writing was amazing. I really liked the rhetorical question at the beginning, it drew me in.I also loved the way you set it all out. Well done! 😀
Younnes,I loved the way at the end paragraph you put ‘experimenting over and over again he finally discovered pasteurization’ the reason for that is because you made it your own open sentence….
I’m very proud of my class from when we done our cold big write to when we done our hot big write there was a enormous difference. I hope we even get better by the time we do our next biography.
Toibat your writing is very clear,but try using words like she or Ms Montague instead of her full name all the time as it makes the reader bored other than that well done and keep up the good work. :]
You had a brilliant biography Abdul. I love the way you drew me in right at the beginning but . You made a few mistakes and to not make any mistakes, READ OVER YOUR WORK!!
Tia your handwriting is very clear to read,I also like how you added bullet points in,( it attracts the reader very well)I also like hoe you separated the paragraphs.Keep up the good work!
Salma, your handwriting was excellent. I really liked it when you were writing about how Lady Montague’s father didn’t want her to marry. But Lady Montague’s method of curing small pox was originally from Edward Jenner.
Nice work Edward,I really like the way you started your hot biography with a rhetorical question. It really hooked me in. When I read it I had to stop for a minute and think that she saved 10000s of lives probably including mine. I didn’t know that she used to write books but now I do. Thanks
Well done! I loved the way you all used your unique memory and knowledge of medical pioneers to create fabulous pieces of writing. The topic work you did obviously paid off for you to know so much about who you’re writing about. I found all the biographies interesting in own individual way.
I liked your use of the if,if,then sentence Emeka. It could improve by using the more,the more sentence in the education paragraph.Like the more Louis experimented,the more his friends thought that he was stupid.
Abdul, I liked your 3rd paragraph about Louis Pasteur’s breakthrough. BUT YOU MUST READ WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN. He didn’t become “a chemistry” he became a chemist. (You can’t trap someone in a medicine bottle xD).
Good work on your biography Abdul I can see you have put a lot of hard work and effort into your writing.Your first paragraph was very effective because it makes the reader stop and think that thanks to Louis Pasteur we are all still alive and are not ill most of the time.Well done Abdul.
Wow Jonan I liked your rhetorical question at the beginning . Next time I think you should answer the question in the middle paragraphs . If I wanted to know if he discovered anthrax then I would know in the first paragraph and I wouldn’t read the rest of the biography . Keep up the good work.
Emeka, I liked the way you done the intro because you said that Pasteur was French and he was a Christian believer. I liked the line which said a fact that he helped us drink a glass of milk.
It was a pleasure looking at the work of some of the students. I am very impressed with the effort that the students made in their study of medicine/biography. I enjoyed reading J’leigh’s and Leonor’s writing. Well done Wolves.
J’Leigh ‘s nan x
I liked J-Leigh’s big write because the question at the begging drew me in. The Legacy was good because of the first word (Shocked) 🙂
It is such a well organised biography. I gained a good understanding of Louis Pasteur’s life, achievements and hardships by reading your writing. I feel sorry because Louis Pasteur lost 3 children.
Well done, excellent writing son . Go on !
I really enjoyed your biography. I liked your questioning as an introduction, your various use of dynamic adjectives and different types of sentences. I wish I could read the rest of the biography. Fantastic! Well done, son !
I think everyone has done really well because they practiced there sentence types to develop there learning for the hot big write to compare with the cold big write. When we wrote our cold big write, we didn’t really know the sentence types and the key features in a biography. Mr French, I think your plan is perfect for us to improve in the quality of our writing.
I agree with Youssef because it helped us a lot thank you Mr French you helped us, we got better well done everyone. One more big thank’s to Mr French !
I really enjoyed reading all the Biographies which were well presented and packed full of information.
Well done Wolves.
Maxx your writing was really good, I liked your opening sentence. I really liked your handwriting its super neat!! 🙂
To improve you could work a bit on your spellings.
I liked the second paragraph when you went even further with the detail!! Well done your writing has definitely improved 😀 😀
Michaela your writing was amazing, I found it so interesting to read I was so upset that it ended! (But it had to end sometime). I really really liked your rhetorical question at the beginning that grabbed me in…
You handwriting is so neat as well (brilliant). 😀 😀
Nathan, I really like your handwriting it was superb!! I liked the way at the end of your first paragraph it said ‘safer place’. The reason for that is because when you described most things in the first paragraph you said what Louis Pasteur did that made this a safer place.
The blobs on my work are courtesy of Nathan.
There are some very interesting stories!!! I mean biography sorry !! :C
I liked the way you put two questions at the beginning of your biography!!
I really liked when you said’ if yes, you are alive because of Ms Montague! Sorry if I spelt her second name wrong.
Eddy I loved your question at the beginning!!!!!!! ‘did you know lady Mary Montague had an impact on thousands of lives?’
I was sooooooooooo hooked in after that question!! Well done Ed! 😀
Very good work done in the big write this week. I like the way that Oliver has set out the clear facts that have covered the life of Louis Pasteur. Oliver’s mum
Leonor….. first your handwriting was clear to read!! Well done! 😀
I liked the way you put in the sentence type : if,if,if,then that was really good !
Nice work Jonan. I really like the way you introduced your Robert Koch biography. Instead of writing when he was born straight away,you started with a question. It really worked.
Nathan I was really hooked in by your rhetorical questions in your writing.Also your facts were very clear on what happened in Louis Pasteur lifetime which is helpful because it really gets the message across to reader on who Louis Pasteur really is and how he changed the world forever.
Abdul your writing is amazing, I understand how at the end of the biography you wrote, “If he wasn’t exposed to science, if he didn’t have children that died, if he didn’t discover pasteurisation, then I,wouldn’t be writing this write now!” You thought outside the box with the ‘then.’ Really good! 🙂
I really enjoyed yours Tia, I think you got a bit confused, you see Mary’s father didn’t approve of her husband up until he got promoted to be ambassador. Don’t get me wrong, I like your biography and it was was amusing I only noticed small mistakes while I was reading, but it was overall enjoyable.
Nathan, your handwriting was super but I’m not sure Louis Pasteur discovered anthrax. I know Robert Koch worked on anthrax and discovered “endospores” which spread it but I don’t think Louis Pasteur discovered anthrax. Maybe he discovered it could spread between cows.
Wow Abdul,your writing is amazing. I really like the detail you put into your paragraphs. I didn’t know that Louis Pasteur was into singing and art. Thanks
Well done Emeka.Your rhetorical question at the start really hooks the reader because you are relating to them by having a glass of milk.You should be very proud of your work Emeka.
Yedidja, I like how you spaced out your writing into several paragraphs so that it is easier for reader to find what they’re looking for. The legacy was good because of the double writing techniques. If,if,if,then and De:de. The drawing is good too. 🙂
Nice work Emeka, you chunked your paragraphs into good sections. You made your writing really clear to the reader. Keep it up.
Well done Edward.Your rhetorical question at the start of your writing really made an impact on me because I paused for a second and thought wow she probably saved my life many millions of people’s lives.This is a very effective strategy because you make the reader think and also make them read on.You should very proud of yourself Edward.
Tia, I see you used “2 x a” sentances in your writing but how do you know Lady Montague’s father had a “deep,croaky voice”?
Drawing the reader with a question is a good idea, Sophia. You go into a lot of detail after each paragraph, it makes me want to read more. Very nice! 🙂
I enjoyed reading your work, it was fun. I couldn’t help but notice your first sentence, it really drew me in, but I couldn’t get passed the fact that after “cereal” you forgot to put put a ?(question) mark
Wow Salma! I really liked how you added in the new sentence types you have recently been learning!You really put an image in the readers head!Keep up the good work! The only thing you could have done better was if you read back on your work! Well done! 🙂
Brilliant work year 6 I could see the improvement since your cold big write.If Mr French never taught us any sentence types, if Mr French never gave us time to practice, if Mr French never showed how to use them, then would our writing be so good?
Well done Maxxwell and Michaela, both of your writing were brilliant there was a few full stop mistake but I’m sure you guys can work on it.
Good work Keir, I can see that you have improved the speed of your writing.
Harry you have now started filling in your missing full stops well done.
I enjoyed reading Sophia’s writing . 🙂 I love the way you used a questions it drew me in and your handwriting is really neat 🙂
Your biography was amazing Ka-lo! But I noticed that your rhetorical question didn’t make sense. Next time read through your work to make sure it’s clear.
Well done Yedidja!!!But in your did you know question you put a full stop and your meant to put a question mark.
I liked your use of a rhetorical question Oliver it really hooked the reader in! But the L’s you put in looked like a 2 so make your handwriting clearer.
I agree Younnes. Oliver you’re a excellent writer,better than me,but you seriously got to stop making your L look like a 2. I know you think it looks neat but it looks like 2ouis Pasteur.
Jonan like your good use of speech marks but you write 1st like this not 1th
Thank you, unknown person. I’ll remember that.
Good use of the more,the more. To make your biography better include the if,if,if,then sentence for your legacy paragraph for example if Louis didn’t discover Pasteurisation,if he wasn’t exposed to science,if he wasn’t interested in medical pioneers,then you will still have to boil your milk today.
To Youssef.
I personally think that Elsie or Abdul should be the writer of the week! Keep up the good work! I chose Elsie because of the neat presentation and her writing put an image in the readers head! I chose Abdul because I can clearly tell that he is working hard and appreciating the constructive criticism that has been given! The only thing that I can complain about too both of you is too read over your work! Other than that ! Well done once again! 🙂 😀 🙂 D 🙂 😀 🙂 😀 🙂
Well done Wolves class. Your writing show that you understand the biographies of Louis Pasteur, Robert Koch and Lady Mary. Keep going Year 6!!
Well done everyone – these biographies are really interesting and well written with plenty of detail. I particularly liked Oliver’s biography about Louis Pasteur. I was very proud of Katie’s biography of Lady Montague as it taught me about someone I had never been aware of before.
Congratulations on such super work!
Good work Kalo from Kalo’s mum.
J’leigh I really liked your writing! I think that you’re handwriting is very clear nice and I also liked the way you used subheadings ! K
Brilliant work Emeka, I like the good use of bullet points, it drew me in.
Elsie your handwriting is very neat! I also liked how you put the rhetorical qustion at the begging it really put me in! I also like how you put the details in clear,different paragraphs.
Good work Yedidja Keep it up.
Jay I really liked the part at the beginning when you said ‘ did you know if it wasn’t for Louis pastuer you would not be able to put milk straight into your cearl.’ Just a reminder that you forgot to put a question mark after cearl! Apart from that your handwriting was fabulous I found that biography so good!!!
Peggy your writing is an improvement but you need to work on your detail and handwriting.
Very good Michaela but you tend to add in and leave out some extra words.Also you add in punctuation that you do not need.Next time I suggest you read back carefully.
Wonderful writing Nathan, your writing is amazing you could have drew me in even more if you started with a rhetorical question. Instead of that well done Nathan.
Congratulation once again! I also heard that you are doing tests next week and this week,so revise well, keep trying and most importantly DON’T GIVE UP!!
Maxx I liked your biography your first question was good it really drew me in but some of it didn’t make sense. apart from that well done
Rico I like your writing especially the subheading telling me what’s going to happen in this paragraph.Keep it up Rico
Elsie your handwriting was really neat I could tell you concentrated really well.Keep it up Elsie.
Edward I like your writing every week it is really interesting and you really focus on the task.Your handwriting is impeccable keep it up Eddy.
Good use of a rhetorical question Emeka make sure that you correct sentences that doesn’t make sense.Louis went to the university of Strasbourg and chemistry professor.Correct it to and became a chemistry professor.
Rico I like your paragraphs, They are very detailed and you told me a lot about the subheading. Now it feels like I know Louis Pasteur.Well done Reekzs.
I really like J-Leigh’s big write, you have put information and the question at the beginning makes me want to keep reeding well done
I liked how Nathan used the word microbiologist because it made me want to look up on the dictionary and see what he meant by it. I like the biography
Jack your writing is wonderful,but in your first paragraph you shouldn’t put at the end “his family was very poor”you should have done it in the early life paragraph not the first.Well done
Harry in your first paragraph you shouldn’t put” he married Sarah ” you should leave it for the old life paragraph.Well done Harry
Elsie your big write is amazing, I really like the detail you have put, it makes me want to keep reeding!!!! Well done
Maxx I like your witting
Well done maxxwell you put in a lot of progress . 😉
Tia I really like your use of punctuation and the way you wrote your story .
You only need to work on your handwriting.
Kalo great work neat writein
Well done Elsie you used good word choice in your writing
Elsie ideally enjoyed reading work.Was very interested , but you need to work on presentation.
Elsie your writing is amazing,it makes me want to keep on reading.
Thanks Leonor and Keir I will take on when you said my writing is very detailed Leonor!!! Thanks for Keir I did try and concentrate very hard!!! 😀
Tia,your writing was amazing. I really liked the rhetorical question at the beginning, it drew me in.I also loved the way you set it all out. Well done! 😀
Peggy your handwriting improve a lot and was much easier for me to read and showed me how amazing you are at writing.
Well done Elsie. I never knew that Louis Pasteur wanted to find a cure for disease because of his children’s death.Well done. 😀
Well done Abdul,you have used paragraph successfully, it will be so much better if you used subheading:).
Toibat your writing is amazing,but when your crossing out your mistakes make sure you do one line
Younnes,I loved the way at the end paragraph you put ‘experimenting over and over again he finally discovered pasteurization’ the reason for that is because you made it your own open sentence….
Harry you writing was very engaging but you should have put them in different paragraphs.
I’m very proud of my class from when we done our cold big write to when we done our hot big write there was a enormous difference. I hope we even get better by the time we do our next biography.
Well done Year 6 we have really improved, keep up the progress.
Jack your writing is amazing ,but don’t forget to use a capital letter for Pasture as it’s a pro noun!
Well done everyone! I can really see an improvement from your cold to hot big write.
Toibat your writing is very clear,but try using words like she or Ms Montague instead of her full name all the time as it makes the reader bored other than that well done and keep up the good work. :]
I agree with Yedidja paragraphs help your writing.
You had a brilliant biography Abdul. I love the way you drew me in right at the beginning but . You made a few mistakes and to not make any mistakes, READ OVER YOUR WORK!!
Tia your handwriting is very clear to read,I also like how you added bullet points in,( it attracts the reader very well)I also like hoe you separated the paragraphs.Keep up the good work!
Your writing is good but you could improve it by taking away odd full stops.
Salma, your handwriting was excellent. I really liked it when you were writing about how Lady Montague’s father didn’t want her to marry. But Lady Montague’s method of curing small pox was originally from Edward Jenner.
Nice work Edward,I really like the way you started your hot biography with a rhetorical question. It really hooked me in. When I read it I had to stop for a minute and think that she saved 10000s of lives probably including mine. I didn’t know that she used to write books but now I do. Thanks
Well done! I loved the way you all used your unique memory and knowledge of medical pioneers to create fabulous pieces of writing. The topic work you did obviously paid off for you to know so much about who you’re writing about. I found all the biographies interesting in own individual way.
-Katie
Emerald, I liked how you done the introduction because you said that he was French and he was a strong Christian believer.
I liked your use of the if,if,then sentence Emeka. It could improve by using the more,the more sentence in the education paragraph.Like the more Louis experimented,the more his friends thought that he was stupid.
Abdul, I liked your 3rd paragraph about Louis Pasteur’s breakthrough. BUT YOU MUST READ WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN. He didn’t become “a chemistry” he became a chemist. (You can’t trap someone in a medicine bottle xD).
I liked your use of quotation Jonan.But I noticed that you changed the tense.Read through your work so that it could make sense.
Good work on your biography Abdul I can see you have put a lot of hard work and effort into your writing.Your first paragraph was very effective because it makes the reader stop and think that thanks to Louis Pasteur we are all still alive and are not ill most of the time.Well done Abdul.
You all have fantastic ideas for your writing,some better than others, but all of them have interesting contents and qualities for writing.
-Katie 😉
Wow Jonan I liked your rhetorical question at the beginning . Next time I think you should answer the question in the middle paragraphs . If I wanted to know if he discovered anthrax then I would know in the first paragraph and I wouldn’t read the rest of the biography . Keep up the good work.
Emeka, I liked the way you done the intro because you said that Pasteur was French and he was a Christian believer. I liked the line which said a fact that he helped us drink a glass of milk.
Nathan, interesting choices, I enjoyed reading your biography, it was unique and eye-catching.
-katie
Jack I loved your writing . It was perfect .
I really I liked you writing Edward. Keep it up .
Harry I loved you writing but you put a lot of and’s.
I Love everyone work can you all keep it up. Edward,Edward keep it up you have a good level can you beat it can you.