I really enjoyed your creative writing story using 1st person narrator, which I could share the main character’s feelings and worries. I’m eager to know what happened to Salim who was lost. I want to follow the rest of the story very soon. 😉
What a gripping story! You used many expressive languages like ‘ every action was in slow motion, every sound was muted’. Although there was not a single conversation, I was involved in the narrator’s feelings and the tense of the story because you presented the story very clearly and expressively. 🙂
Wow! Salma, I loved your big write! I was so excited when I was reading it, and the fact that you used the special sentences made you big write even better! I can’t wait to read the rest 😉
Sofia, I really enjoyed reading your big write. You used the punctuation correctly and you used some of the special sentences. Your big write is very good
Toibat, your writing is amazing I specifically like the way you added ellipses on your first sentence !You even added a different rang of sentence types!I also like how you read over your work and changed the parts that didn’t make sense!Keep up the good work!
Well done Toibat , Edward and Harry!!! I loved the sentences you guys used. Edward I loved the part when you were describing how Kat/Katrina was feeling! You jumbled up a few of your words when you were writing though. Harry your punctuation has improved a whole lot I especially loved your use of words!!! Toibat I loved when you were describing Salim and you said something about him having ‘brown caramel skin’ . Well done guys you guys have definetly improved your writing since last time I saw it!!! WELL DONE ! 😀
Your use of the word ‘frantically’ was very effective in your writing Nathan! To make your writing better make sure that your sentences make sense. Keep it up!
Sophia,I really enjoyed reading your work!I especially like the way you joined d:d sentence and comma’s in a list.I also like the way you only put one cross when you made a mistake!Well done!
Sophia I liked when you said ‘Salim should have been down 12:02 am sharp, I bet he has been spontaneously combusted,’ when I read that first line it made me think straight away! I really loved when you were talking about the pocket money and then you made Ted say ‘ what do you mean by pocket money? So when you get money you put it in your pocket.’ That shows a lot about how Ted thinks !!! We’ll done:D
Youssef , your writing was amazing, but in the first paragraph you put “but still. There was no sign of Salim” . You shouldn’t put the full stop in the middle.
Nathan I liked when you said ‘ I ran around frantically,’ it puts an image in my head and makes me think how Ted was running around the place!! I also loved when you said ‘ he has run away from the crust of the earth.’ That part really stands out!! Well done!
Tia, you have managed to include the sentence types!I also like how you put your self a target and put a line ande tried to beat it,I also noticed you did beat your target!
I liked your writing so much Nathan. There was lots of tense walking to Aunt Glo and when Kat screamed “He disappeared from crust of the Earth” and then Ted got confused. You capture Ted point of view.
Well done Youssef your work was really good! When I started reading your writing I couldn’t help myself but notice when you said ‘maybe he just needs a shout so he would come out of his hiding spot’ that was really good!! I also liked when you were saying the phone rang and then it caught Teds attention!! We’ll done!
Well done Year 6. I have enjoyed reading your writing and am now very worried about Salim. Where has he gone?
How well you have improved your writing techniques especially at building up suspense. I look forward to the next installment.
I really enjoyed your creative writing story using 1st person narrator, which I could share the main character’s feelings and worries. I’m eager to know what happened to Salim who was lost. I want to follow the rest of the story very soon. 😉
What a gripping story! You used many expressive languages like ‘ every action was in slow motion, every sound was muted’. Although there was not a single conversation, I was involved in the narrator’s feelings and the tense of the story because you presented the story very clearly and expressively. 🙂
Well done Harry. You used amazing punctuation keep it up
Well dun you all did well looking fored to the next big write we will do
Well done Abdul.Your piece of writing is amazing but when you make a mistake cross out with 1 line instead of 2.
Well dun to all looking fored to the next big write we do
Harry your writing is wonderful but your pension alright.
Wow! Salma, I loved your big write! I was so excited when I was reading it, and the fact that you used the special sentences made you big write even better! I can’t wait to read the rest 😉
Amazing Salma, I loved your special sentences 🙂 B-)
Amazing Salma, I loved your special sentences B-)
Well done Yedidja you left me speechless.Keep up the good work
Yedidja your writing is amazing but you missed 1 full stop
in your writing.
Well done
Sofia, I really enjoyed reading your big write. You used the punctuation correctly and you used some of the special sentences. Your big write is very good
Well done Wolves. Your stories were gripping and full of suspense.
Toibat, your writing is amazing I specifically like the way you added ellipses on your first sentence !You even added a different rang of sentence types!I also like how you read over your work and changed the parts that didn’t make sense!Keep up the good work!
Well done Toibat , Edward and Harry!!! I loved the sentences you guys used. Edward I loved the part when you were describing how Kat/Katrina was feeling! You jumbled up a few of your words when you were writing though. Harry your punctuation has improved a whole lot I especially loved your use of words!!! Toibat I loved when you were describing Salim and you said something about him having ‘brown caramel skin’ . Well done guys you guys have definetly improved your writing since last time I saw it!!! WELL DONE ! 😀
Your use of the word ‘frantically’ was very effective in your writing Nathan! To make your writing better make sure that your sentences make sense. Keep it up!
I think Nathan should be writer of the week! He should because Nathan used high standard words that linked to the paragraph.;)
Rico I have just read the beginning of your story and I am already into it. Well done!!
Sophia,I really enjoyed reading your work!I especially like the way you joined d:d sentence and comma’s in a list.I also like the way you only put one cross when you made a mistake!Well done!
Sophia I liked when you said ‘Salim should have been down 12:02 am sharp, I bet he has been spontaneously combusted,’ when I read that first line it made me think straight away! I really loved when you were talking about the pocket money and then you made Ted say ‘ what do you mean by pocket money? So when you get money you put it in your pocket.’ That shows a lot about how Ted thinks !!! We’ll done:D
Youssef , your writing was amazing, but in the first paragraph you put “but still. There was no sign of Salim” . You shouldn’t put the full stop in the middle.
Your writing is so much improved by a lot .keep it up Youssef,your doing excellent.
Harry your writing was really good. Just remember to narrow down your sentences.
I liked it when you described Salim’s thoughts Emeka! Add full stops so that the reader would be able to breath.:)
Thank you for your feedback, Younnes.
Well done Nathan and Emeka, that piece of writing shows me how hard you tried.
Nathan I liked when you said ‘ I ran around frantically,’ it puts an image in my head and makes me think how Ted was running around the place!! I also loved when you said ‘ he has run away from the crust of the earth.’ That part really stands out!! Well done!
Using the time was very effective Abdul! Make sure your writing stays at the same tense.;)
Elsie your writing was good just remember not to make your I’s too tall.
Tia, you have managed to include the sentence types!I also like how you put your self a target and put a line ande tried to beat it,I also noticed you did beat your target!
I liked your writing so much Nathan. There was lots of tense walking to Aunt Glo and when Kat screamed “He disappeared from crust of the Earth” and then Ted got confused. You capture Ted point of view.
Well done Youssef your work was really good! When I started reading your writing I couldn’t help myself but notice when you said ‘maybe he just needs a shout so he would come out of his hiding spot’ that was really good!! I also liked when you were saying the phone rang and then it caught Teds attention!! We’ll done!
Well done Year 6. I have enjoyed reading your writing and am now very worried about Salim. Where has he gone?
How well you have improved your writing techniques especially at building up suspense. I look forward to the next installment.